pishposhtash

So I don’t know if many of you know, but I’m really into dancing. I danced my whole life until I got out of high school. Well my exercise obsessed aunt (who was also a dancer in her younger years) bought a new workout video set called “Turbo Jam”. I borrowed it to try since it is supposed to be “dance cardio”. Oh my goodness. The host kicks ass. She never stops moving. I love it. There is no way you can do that video everyday and not have it work.

That being said, I am SO SORE today. I did the ab workout last night and I can barely move. I am taking that as a good sign.

So obviously I haven’t been doing as well as a lot of you. I haven’t logged onto this site for about a month. I had something over the last week jump start me and really make me feel like I need to do this. I’m sure many of you watch “Biggest Loser”. Well the winner, Ali, looks AMAZING. When I saw her on the last episode and it showed her before and after pics, I noticed how similar our body types were when she first started the competition. She’s a little shorter but she’s about the same size as me all around. I told my parents that I should go on that show, and they talked to me about just changing things in my life and I could look like that too. They are dieting right now too and both are starting to look really good. So it’s my time now too.

I’ve never done anything for myself. Completely. Every decision I make is based on how it’s going to affect other people. This needs to be for me. That’s all I can do.

So apparently, I fell off for awhile. Kind of fell into a state of depression. Going through alot with money and personal issues, I came to the decision I needed to move back home with my parents. Not very stimulating when I’ve been moved out for about 4 years now. So I’ve had a hard time adjusting. Fell into a rut. Pigged out

 But I’m back. I just started a new job and am trying to have a new outlook on life. I am going to start school in the fall and get my business degree. I’m saving money living at home AND I will get to go see Kyle and Cody in June and want to look freakin’ hot.

I’m starting from scratch again. I’ve been on WW for about a week and lost 4 pounds already! Nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it’s a start. And I just feel better. It helped that I talked to one of my good friends today and told him how much I weigh and he told me he would never have guessed that just by looking at me. Made me feel good.

Anyway… I’m in it for the long haul! But I may need some help

Ugh. Bad night last night. I have been feeling so down in the dumps lately. I feel like every important person in my life over the last two years has left, either moved away or isn’t in my life anymore for any number of reasons (mostly being my own stupidity). So anyway… Last night I wasn’t feeling so well and I was pouting and feeling sorry for myself so I went and got stupid comfort food. I pigged out and now this morning I feel so guilty about it. This is something I really want to do. Really need to do. I need to get refocused and just keep my mind on who I want to be. It’s just hard to over look all the other stuff. But I have to do this…

I weighed myself this morning. 4 lbs more lost! Yay! Granted, that is a very small amount in the grand scheme of things, but nonetheless, it keeps me motivated.

 My goal is to have at least MOST of my goal weight off by the time I go to Florida in June to surprise my best friend, Kyle for his birthday. I won’t see him til then so it’ll be a big surprise.

 :( I miss him.

So I haven’t written in a week. Crazy Park City with it’s crazy Sundance Festival. Anyway… I finally am feeling better and started gyming it up yesterday. I forgot how much better I feel about myself just by going to the gym. Even if it’s not a hard core workout in the beginning. It’s terrific.

 I had a bit of a slip this weekend at a going away dinner for a friend. It wasn’t too bad, but enough to make me a little disappointed in myself. But yesterday was a new day and I was all set to get back on track. So far so good!

I was driving home yesterday and was ONE BLOCK from my apartment and I got rear ended. The guy gets out of his car and comes to make sure I’m okay. Right away, I feel sorry for him. He looks so stressed out and starts apologizing immediately. He completely admitted it was his fault and wrote down all his information for me. How could I be mad? I’ve done the whole “run into the back of someone because I’m not paying attention” thing so I felt almost bad for him. The only thing that sucks is that when he his me it just hurt my back more than it already was. Now I’m sore in my lower back too. Stupid….

 One the up side, I went to dinner with some friends last night. We went to Applebee’s and they have this amazing Garlic/Asiago Chicken. Well my FAVORITE THING EVER is the mashed potatoes that come with it. But when I ordered it I told her to just give me extra vegetables and no mashed potatoes. YAY! Food is my bitch! Lol.

 Happy Friday all!

Day two of my new lifestyle Yesterday was not bad at all. I woke up early and cooked breakfast (which is different for me because I never even EAT breakfast). I did feel a little bit hungry during the day, but just drank water to curb the feeling. All in all it was a good eating day.

 A little bit frustrated because I pinched a nerve in my neck while I was in Florida last week and it hurts so much! I can barely move. When I went to the doctor he told me to rest the area until the swelling subsides, which is nearly impossible for me. I am also not supposed to work out until then. So I haven’t been able to start working out and I really want to! I bought the cutest new running shoes! Lol.

Day one is starting out strong!!! I went grocery shopping last night and it’s amazing how even SHOPPING for the right foods can make you feel healthier. Then I went home and threw out all my “bad food”. I cleaned out my desk this morning of those cheesey crackers and chocolate candies that hide in my drawer just waiting for the weak moment when I need that sugar rush. Say goodbye to the evil!!!

Little more explanation: I am starting the South Beach “diet”. (I know, I know… Way of life). I had a friend (see profile pic) that used to be really heavily overweight and this plan worked best for him. He’s so in shape now! I’m determined to make it work for me too!

So I decided that with the new year, I want to adopt a new me. I know everyone says that. I’ve been saying it for years now. That I need to make a change. So here I am. Hopefully this will help me keep on track. I know everyone is thinking “Oh silly Tasha. Another diet starts. Another diet stops.” But I want to do it this time. I CAN do it. I miss dancing. Feeling like I’m good at something. Being attractive. I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I surely don’t see it. Even if others do. So I need to do this for myself. I’ll never find someone that will love me until I can be content and happy with myself. And I’m hoping to find other people on here that want to accomplish the same thing. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to starngers. So here goes nothing.